Marriage… one of the best phase, the most stressful phase, the most satisfying phase, the most romantic, fulfilling, or the most undeserved… it has been described from many angles and all the married people will have their own opinion on what it is and what it means to them.
Perhaps the most universal feeling would be when one is about to enter this institution… expectations from your spouse and having a fairytale happily ever after! I wonder how many couples actually live this fairytale. Like anything in life, one has to work hard on relationships.
Every relation, be it with your spouse, parents or siblings, is incomplete without fights. As any psychology student would endorse, what is bad for any relation is not your regular fight and not even miscommunication. Rather, it is the lack of communication, which brings the relation to its slow death.
A relationship can survive angry tirades and arguments. Anger means you care, even though you are caring in such a way as to negatively affect your partner. Come to think of it, even when we argue, we communicate with the other person — we express our disappointment, hurt or anger for some perceived slight or harm. But sometimes anger can take on catastrophic levels and words, never meant to be voiced out loud, are actually spoken, to deliberately hurt the other. No matter how hard one tries, some words stick on and if the negative feelings are repeated, it is possible that either both or one person in the relation turns indifferent. This indifference can probably take many forms… it might start with the significant others and then finally towards the one with whom it started in the first place or maybe the other way round. At what point of time this indifference sets in; whether it is gradual, at once or seemingly at once, I do not know; but if it sets in, it can probably change the nature of the relation once and for all.
No one person in any relation is at fault. What drives one to being indifferent can be because of a multitude of factors and one may be driven towards it even against ones wishes but one still goes that way maybe because one has just had enough! What is enough would again be totally subjective but maybe its that feeling which comes from inside.
Whatever be the reason, the result can be devastating for both! If one thinks that it is only the other person who suffers, one should remember the words of Anton Chekhov when he says,
“ Indifference is a paralysis of the soul, a premature death.”
Lets hope that no one has to face this ugly facet, which if it sets in once, has no cure!